Photo © 2007 Randal Cooper CC BY-SA 2.0
Mark, timid little creature, he stammered through, asked me to “dinner or something, sometime.” I smiled and told him I’d love to, because he’s cute and sweet, and he plays a beautiful guitar. He’ll never dominate the top of the heap, but you always know where you stand with him, and you can trust him always to be faithful and to do the right thing. Mark, it turns out, is also a great kisser, which I knew he was going to be. And deeply passionate. Sigh.
Tony, on the other hand, he lives the life of the stereotypical alpha male. Six feet, 190 pounds, works out at the gym every day and benches 350. Top dog in his world, and he knows it. So when asked me to drinks, he already knew I’d say yes. You could see it in his eyes. He strolled by while I was halfway through my run on the treadmill, stopped for a minute and admired me— I wanted him to take me right then and there.
Then there’s Sean. Everyone else thinks he’s stuck up, but he makes me laugh. I stare through his glasses, and I can see mathematical formulas projected from his eye-lenses. And then he opens his mouth, and tries to explain them. He literally has no idea that no one can understand a thing he says. But he patiently answers—or tries to—every question I ask, explaining complex theorems in great detail. I’m no rocket scientist—though as Sean would quickly point out, this has nothing to do with rocket science. I could hardly care less how to find large prime numbers or whether the Goldbach Conjecture can be proved. Sean never asked me out. I asked him. And that meant I could ping him to see how he would react. Lots o’ fun! Like I said, he makes me laugh.
And then the three found out about each other.
Now, you’d think by now that I’d have a fair amount of experience with my lovers finding out about each other. And you would be wrong. Most of my boyfriends move on long before they see enough to suspect anything out of the ordinary, and I have become very good at appearing “too busy for a real relationship,” as one of those past boyfriends put it. That hurt, I’ll admit. But it’s better that he believe me a busy, high-powered executive, rather than a merely adventurous, high-powered executive—in other words, the truth.
Boyfriends quickly learn to expect not to see or talk to me at work. It’s better that way. The office is off-limits to personal issues. Sue, my assistant, has developed dodging into a fine art. More than once, she’s covered for my private life, because she thinks it’s strictly my own business what I do with it, and because she feels important when she’s indispensable, and probably because she enjoys having a little dirt on me, too. All told, we have an effective relationship.
Office. Home. The gym. The supermarket where I buy groceries. The bar I hang out at sometimes. My favorite coffee shop. Each is a separate world unto itself, and ne’er shall any of them overlap. That’s how I keep the compartments of my life separate, and organized. And it keeps me out of trouble.
So, you’re wondering now, how did this all blow up in my face? Well, it wasn’t anything I did, at least, and there was no way I could have prevented it. I mean, what are the chances that a starving artist, a jock, and an egghead would all accidentally meet each other?
Seriously, you’ll get a kick out of this.
It all started at a chocolate shop. Yes, a chocolate shop. It seems, Mark and Tony ran into each other both buying the same sports-car-shaped novelty sweets for Valentine’s Day, each for his own girlfriend, who drives a red Camaro. Apparently, that coincidence wasn’t bad enough; they had to start sharing— Who ever thought it? What guys “share” stories of their love lives with each other?
Of course, both quickly realized that they were dating the same woman. Tony threatened Mark, which was probably not the way to chase Mark away. I mean, just think about this for a moment: you don’t scare away a passionate artist by threatening him. Stupid idiots, the lot of them. As if that weren’t bad enough, Tony naturally obsessed over his suspicions, hired a private dick, who had no trouble discovering Sean.
The first I heard of any of this was when the lot of them barged into my office at work, all three of them together, despite Sue’s warnings that I was meeting with an important investor.
After summing up the situation, Tony ordered me to tell the other two to “jack off.” I felt a little flush and wanted to rip his shirt off, breathed deeply to calm my nerves. Mark apologized for the loss of his Valentine’s gift to me, but informed me that he was in love with me, and that threats meant nothing to him. I mean, I love him, too. But this is the exact situation I was trying to avoid. Sean looked like he was going to cry, but agreed that I should choose, and warned Tony that he had already contacted his lawyer.
Men are too much to handle sometimes.
Sue still stood in the doorway, panicked. I thanked her, so she wouldn’t have to witness any more of this travesty. Then I sat the other three down and explained to them in my most professional tone that each of them was special to me, and while I was sorry that they “found out this way,” they were being unfair in asking me to choose one over another. I told them I hadn’t lied to any of them, that really felt strongly about each of them, and that I wanted to continue to see all of them. I had heard of multilateral romances of that sort. Maybe it could work. I was going to find out.
“But if you really can’t handle that,” I admitted, “I guess it just can’t work out between us. I’m sorry.”
Whereupon all three of them stood and, without another word, walked out the door and left my life forever.
Good thing I have a liquor cabinet in my office.
https://safemedsguide.com/# best online pharmacy
cheap medicines online Australia: compare pharmacy websites – verified pharmacy coupon sites Australia
pharmacy delivery Ireland
legitimate pharmacy sites UK safe place to order meds UK affordable medications UK
online pharmacy reviews and ratings: buy medications online safely – SafeMedsGuide
pharmacy delivery Ireland: Irish Pharma Finder – online pharmacy
discount pharmacies in Ireland
promo codes for online drugstores best pharmacy sites with discounts SafeMedsGuide
pharmacy delivery Ireland: online pharmacy – Irish Pharma Finder
compare pharmacy websites: online pharmacy australia – best Australian pharmacies
https://safemedsguide.com/# top rated online pharmacies
trusted online pharmacy Ireland
non-prescription medicines UK non-prescription medicines UK best UK pharmacy websites
cheap medicines online UK: UkMedsGuide – affordable medications UK
best online pharmacy: SafeMedsGuide – promo codes for online drugstores
QQ888 là thương hiệu cá cược uy tín hàng đầu châu Á, truy cập link qq88.co.com đăng ký nhận ngay 88K với các sảnh casino, nổ hũ, bắn cá, đá gà, game bài,…. Tham gia ngay!
discount pharmacies in Ireland
SafeMedsGuide compare online pharmacy prices best online pharmacy
Safe Meds Guide: compare online pharmacy prices – trusted online pharmacy USA
SafeMedsGuide: online pharmacy – best pharmacy sites with discounts
QQ88 là cổng game uy tín hàng đầu Châu Á, mang đến kho game khủng như: Casino, nổ hũ, bắn cá, đá gà, xổ số,… tham gia đăng ký lần đầu tại QQ88 nhận 88k
https://irishpharmafinder.com/# online pharmacy ireland
buy medicine online legally Ireland
best pharmacy sites with discounts top rated online pharmacies best online pharmacy
SafeMedsGuide: best online pharmacy – trusted online pharmacy USA
legitimate pharmacy sites UK: cheap medicines online UK – trusted online pharmacy UK
online pharmacy ireland
trusted online pharmacy UK safe place to order meds UK safe place to order meds UK
best pharmacy sites with discounts: top rated online pharmacies – online pharmacy
online pharmacy ireland: Irish Pharma Finder – Irish online pharmacy reviews
pharmacy delivery Ireland
https://safemedsguide.com/# top rated online pharmacies
compare pharmacy websites: compare pharmacy websites – verified pharmacy coupon sites Australia
legitimate pharmacy sites UK: best UK pharmacy websites – non-prescription medicines UK
verified online chemists in Australia compare pharmacy websites trusted online pharmacy Australia
online pharmacy ireland
cheap medicines online UK: UK online pharmacies list – best UK pharmacy websites
UkMedsGuide: best UK pharmacy websites – Uk Meds Guide
pharmacy online Aussie Meds Hub Australia best Australian pharmacies
UK online pharmacies list: UK online pharmacies list – trusted online pharmacy UK
online pharmacy ireland
best Australian pharmacies: pharmacy discount codes AU – Aussie Meds Hub Australia
cheapest pharmacies in the USA best pharmacy sites with discounts online pharmacy reviews and ratings
https://safemedsguide.com/# online pharmacy reviews and ratings
non-prescription medicines UK: Uk Meds Guide – trusted online pharmacy UK
top-rated pharmacies in Ireland
promo codes for online drugstores: top rated online pharmacies – promo codes for online drugstores
verified online chemists in Australia Aussie Meds Hub trusted online pharmacy Australia
UkMedsGuide: trusted online pharmacy UK – Uk Meds Guide
Irish online pharmacy reviews