Original photo © 2009 sflovestory CC BY 2.0
Head down in the middle of her solid mahogany desk, eyelids blocking the mid-morning sun from the searing pain behind the bridge of her nose, the expanse of her office morphed into a loosely packed suburb of rich greens and blues. A month of late-night facts and figures melted into the insanity of random imagination. Her Starbucks dark-roast tasted like Kahlúa. The bottle of store-brand ibuprofen became a mailman in sexy shorts, delivering packages of happiness.
“We finally made it!” she bragged.
He wrapped strong hands around the back of her shoulders and her aching neck muscles, and firmly massaged. “Mmm,” she groaned, and stretched and relaxed her neck.
“I’ll pick up the kids and meet you at six?” he said.
She nodded, laid back on her mahogany deckchair, closed her eyes again, and sipped her Kahlúa. A long, deep sigh.
Then thunder boomed from the overcast sky.
“What the hell do I pay you for?!” The voice pierced through her brain.
“Ssh,” she mumbled to the intruder, with his doughnut gut, hulking shoulders, and close-cropped greying hair. “Inside voices, please, Bart.”
“Hey, you do the wine, you pay the time.” His voice remained as loud as before.
“I’m not hung over, and that doesn’t even make sense,” she said.
“Right!” The thunder felt like it was getting closer. “Look, I don’t care what you do on your own time, just don’t let it affect your work performance.”
Breathe deeply. Jackass. “What do you want, Bart?”
“We need to move Project Limerick up another month. I need an updated schedule by five this afternoon.” He smirked.
“Half my staff is out with the flu,” she said. “And I don’t even know what we can trim to do it a month faster.”
“We aren’t trimming anything. You’ll just have to rearrange the schedule and work faster.” He turned to leave.
“In what universe?” Pang! A burst of pain shot through her left eyeball, and she squinted.
“Look,” he said, “I don’t care what you do in your free time, but when it starts interfering with your job performance, I begin to get concerned. You can sleep at home, not at work, or you can find a job that doesn’t interfere so much with your personal life. Got it?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m leaving at five, so get that schedule to me.” He slammed the door on his way out.
A tear appeared at the corner of her left eye. She sniffled.
When was the last time I had “free time”? Anger. She couldn’t remember.
Nausea tunneled through her torso.
When was the last time I had a personal life? She remembered the last boyfriend she had lost. He was nice. Not every man is a jackass.
That thought consumed her last bit of emotional energy.
Now on automatic, she walked through through the cubicle passageway toward the exit. Bart stood in an employee’s cube-office, and she took just enough time to shoot him a “Fuck you!” on her way past.
She slumbered for over 18 hours, and dreamed sweet dreams.
The next morning, over craigslist and coffee, the company CEO called her. He said most of the department had walked out the previous afternoon, inspired by her act of defiance. Her fault.
Then he said, “So Bart’s not with the company anymore. Can you take his job? At least for a little while?”
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Right — been using this thing for about a few months now and I keep coming back, so figured I’d chuck my thoughts in since someone asked me last week. Am based in the UK, mostly do football and horses, nothing mad, for context.
How I found it was actually embarrassing — I couldn’t ever get my head round what an each way return actually was with 1/5 odds a place. I used to just wing it and then be surprised. Now stick my stake in first, every time, even a simple single bet.
The single bet calculator tool is the bit I’m on daily — you put in your stake, the odds and you get profit and total return straight away, fractions or decimals. Same tool covers the bigger stuff — doubles and trebles returns, a lucky 15, a yankee, and that’s where most people I know mess it up. If you want a look, it’s here super yankee bet calculator and it’s free with no account nonsense.
What really made a difference is the nerdier tools. They’ve got an probability converter which shows you what margin’s baked in, and a kelly calculator — I run quarter kelly as the full version is terrifying. Dutching calculator is handy too if I’m covering two or three runners.
It’s not perfect mind. The design looks pretty plain — no frills, it’s clearly function over form. Phone-wise it’s fine though the lucky 63 breakdown need a bit of scrolling. Also there’s no proper app, just the site — fine by me just flagging it.
So yeah. Free, barely any ads, does the job. If you still adds it up in their head, give it a go — saves me plenty of arguments with the bookie.
So — been using this thing for maybe a few months now and I keep coming back, reckon I’d say something since someone asked me the other day. I’m in the UK, mostly bet football and racing, nothing mad, just so you know where I’m coming from.
The reason I started using it was genuinely a bit daft — I couldn’t ever figure out what an ew payout would be once you get five places instead of three. I’d just guess and then be surprised. These days I punch the numbers in before I place anything, even a simple single bet.
The single bet calculator tool is the one I open most — you put in your stake, the odds and it spits out profit and total return with no faffing, either odds format. It also handles the fiddly ones — trebles maths, lucky 15s, a yankee, and that’s where I always got it wrong. If you fancy a poke about, it lives at matched bet finder and there’s no login wall, which I appreciated.
One thing that actually shifted things for me were the more serious bits. The probability calculator which shows you the overround, and there’s the kelly staking tool — I stick to fractional kelly since full stakes are far too aggressive. The dutch tool is decent for when I’m covering two or three runners.
It’s not perfect mind. The layout looks a bit basic — zero frills, looks like it was built by someone who cares more about maths than colours. On mobile it works although the acca grid are a squeeze. Also there’s no proper app, it’s browser only — fine by me just flagging it.
Anyway. Free, not plastered in adverts, does what it says. Anyone who still works out returns on a calculator app, try it — saves me a fair few arguments with the bookie.
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OK — have been messing about with this thing for maybe four months now and I keep coming back, reckon I’d write something up since a mate asked me a few days back. I’m UK based, mostly do football and horses, small stakes, for context.
The reason I started using it was actually a bit daft — I could never work out what an e/w payout actually was with 1/5 odds a place. I used to just wing it and get a shock. Now I type the odds in before I place anything, even the boring singles.
Their single bet calculator is the one I use most — type in stake and odds and it spits out profit and total return with no faffing, either odds format. There’s also the multiples — doubles and trebles maths, lucky 15s, patents and yankees, which is where I’d always lose track. If you want a look, it lives at ew trixie calculator and there’s no login wall, which I appreciated.
One thing that really changed how I bet is the nerdier tools. The implied probability calculator and it makes obvious what margin’s baked in, and there’s the kelly staking calculator — I stick to fractional kelly as the full version is a quick route to a dead bankroll. The dutch tool is decent when I’m spreading across selections.
It’s not perfect mind. The layout looks very functional, let’s say — zero polish, looks like it was built by someone who cares more about maths than colours. On my phone it’s fine although the lucky 63 breakdown make you pinch and zoom. Also there’s no proper app, just the site — fine by me but worth saying.
So yeah. Free, not plastered in adverts, works. Anyone who honestly does the maths on paper, have a look — saves me plenty of dumb bets I’d have regretted.
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